


Reality in Question

by lark_flaming_mad (trombonistnicole)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, F/M, Fix-It, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Self-Hatred, Serious Injuries, Solitary Confinement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:32:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8212091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trombonistnicole/pseuds/lark_flaming_mad
Summary: Post-Civil War, does not acknowledge final scenePietro's in a coma, Wanda's hallucinating, Clint's crazy, Tony's self-destructive, Steve's lonely and Natasha's on the run.It's a mess.





	1. Chapter 1

**Pietro's state**

     The young man had been comatose for two-and-a-half years. His tan cheeks had lost all sanguinity, his unused muscles shrinking to his skinny form. A beard covered his jawline and his unruly hair had grown out unchecked. Tubes and needles stuck out of his body pumping in and pulling out fluids. He no longer breathed, relying on a machine to oxygenate his blood. His bare chest was covered in bullet scars. An EKG beeped his heart rate, the line pulsing weakly about four times per minute. He was, for all practical purposes, dead.

 

**Wanda's state**

     The young woman sat in the corner of the cell, singing softly.

     “Hi,” she greeted the boy sitting next to her, lips curling in a smile.

     “Are you lonely?” he asked, cocking his head as he looked at her.

     “No,” she replied. Her eyes went to the others seated in her cell. Two were playing a board game, another sprawled out and drawing. They all seemed so happy, and so Wanda was happy. “I have so many friends.”

     The boy was suddenly a full-grown man. “Someday you'll have to realize we're not real.”

     Wanda shook her head. “I don't have to do anything of the sort. I can have my delusions forever.”

 

     The girl was completely alone in her cell.

 

**Clint's state**

     Clint had somehow upset the others. They wouldn't talk to him. He would hear murmurs, sounds of them moving around. 

     “Clint,” Scott said from another cell. “You know you're my best friend, right?”

     Clint smiled and pressed his forehead to the wall separating them. “You're the only one that talks to me anymore.”

     “They don't talk to me either.”

     Clint sat down with his back to the wall. “Let's get out of here, see our kids, all that. Let's live again.”

     “Yeah. Let's be the heroes we're supposed to be.” Clint could hear the smile on Scott's face.

 

     Scott had been gone for two months. The batteries in Clint's hearing aids had died.

 

**Tony's state**

     Tony woke up, his face resting on a lab table. Groaning, he got to his feet and looked at his watch.  _ 7:24? AM or PM?  _ The lighting from the windows didn't give any indication. The lab was a mess, all his work scattered in a pattern that only made sense to Tony.

     “FRIDAY?”

     “Yes, sir?”

     “What meal would food be right now?”

     FRIDAY paused. “Breakfast, sir.”

     Tony whooped and threw up his arms. “I haven't made myself nocturnal!” he celebrated. Hearing the mirth in her silence, he rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

     “I didn't say anything, sir.”

 

**Steve's state**

     Steve looked out the window at the Wakandan jungle, his arms crossed tight across his chest.

     “Captain Rogers.” A woman's voice sounded behind him. 

     He turned around. “Yes?”

     She held up an exact replica of his shield. “I hope this suits your needs, Captain.”

     Giving a wan smile, he nodded. “Thank you.” He took the shield from her. It was brand new, almost mirror-like in its shininess. He stared at his reflection, frowning at the new creases in his forehead.  _ I'm stressed out. _

 

**Natasha's state**

     Natasha studied herself in the mirror. She had bleached her hair and started straightening it regularly. She wore a black parka, necessary in her current place of residence, which happened to be Nome, Alaska.  _ Another couple months, let this blow over, and I can have a life again. _


	2. Things go to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything gets worse. 
> 
> It's going to be in this format for a couple chapters to help distinguish everyone's problems, and then I'll go into regular story format.  
> Comments are greatly appreciated! I would love advice on where this should go, because I have no idea.

**Pietro's state**

_I'm alone._

_Totally alone._

_There's no one there._

_No one._

_  
_

_There's no one there…._

_… Please come back…._

_  
_

_……. Where are you?_

_  
_

**Wanda's state**

_That man….._

_I know him, right?_

_Who is he?_

_Why is he yelling?_

    The cries from the other cell were worsening, usually just noise, but sometimes questions.

    “Why are you ignoring me?” the man demanded, his voice cracking with sobs.

    “We're not ignoring you,” another voice angrily replied. “Shut your goddamn mouth.”

    Wanda tried to speak over them, to urge them to be quiet, but she was unable. Her friends were… absent at the moment.

_Everyone's crazy._

_Am I crazy?_

_  
_

**Clint's state**

    His cries went without response, maybe a slight noise from another cell, but not an answer. After his fruitless efforts, he fell to silence.

    “You still have me,” Scott murmured. He had been moved into Clint's cell, so they could see each other now. He placed his hand gently on top of Clint's. “You'll always have me.”

    Clint squeezed Scott's hand, tears welling up in his eyes. “And you'll always have me,” he replied, giving a slight but completely genuine smile.

_  
_

**Tony's state**

   Tony glanced at the clock. _54 hours,_ he mused. _I've been awake for 54 hours._

    His current project involved creating an AI that would be, since it was significantly less advanced than his own AI, available for mass consumption. His entire struggle with the project was dumbing down the product. His intellect _wanted_ to improve it, but he knew that FRIDAY-level AI would be dangerous if released to the public. Another problem was developing a firewall strong enough to prevent manipulation of the code.

    As he walked to another monitor, a wave of dizziness hit him and he hit the floor.

    The concussion-level impact rendered him unconscious immediately.

_  
_

**Steve's state**

    Solo missions were starting to take a toll on Steve. He'd received a particularly bad injury, and began taking pain medication.

    His injury was fully healed, but he did not stop taking pain medication.

    

    As he swallowed the pill, he waited for the release that he needed. Steve slumped against the headboard, exhaling sharply. _This is bad. This is wrong._

_  
_

     _Is this wrong?_

_I don't know anymore…_

_  
_

**Natasha's state**

    “Can I take your order?” Natasha asked the customers. She was working as a waitress, now residing in Peoria, Arizona.

    The customers ordered. As she returned to the kitchen to deliver the order, she looked at the clock. _Last half hour._

    Following her shift, she walked to her apartment. Somebody grabbed her from behind. Instincts kicking in, she easily fought him off. The bald man was large and pale, with low set eyebrows and a black leather jacket. She was suddenly surrounded, but not by thugs.

     _What is SHIELD doing here?_

 


	3. Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still getting worse... but we're going to put it back together soon...ish.

**Pietro's state**

_ Somebody else is here. _

_     They say he's hurt. _

_     I hope he's OK…. _

_ …is he staying? _

_       ….. Please stay…… _

 

**Wanda's state**

_ Some men came in today and took the man who kept yelling. I don't know what they did to him, but he looked hurt.  _

_     If I got hurt, would they take me out too? _

_     I don't know how I would do that…. _

_         …. but I kind of want to try. _

 

**Clint's state**

    Clint woke up.  _ Where's Scott?  _ Running around, alarmed, he shouted out to him. 

    “Scott!” he wailed. “Scott, where are you?”

    Collapsing into sobs, he looked up at the metal bench.  _ There's a space under there. _

_ Could I hit my head on it? _

    He crawled over to the bench, lied down with his head underneath it, and slammed his forehead into it with all his might.

    Pain washed over him as he passed out.

 

**Tony's state**

    Tony's eyes fluttered open, pain filling his entire body. Pepper sat next to him, looking deeply concerned.

    “Tony?” she exclaimed upon his awakening. 

    “Present,” he murmured, groaning. “What's up, Peps?”

    She ran her hand down his cheek. “I was so worried,” she admitted. 

    He tried to sit up, but darkness flooded into his vision and he lied back down. “OK, let's not get up.”

    “Agreed.”

 

**Steve's state**

    Steve had returned to Wakanda, hearing that they may have found a cure to Bucky’s problems, but no such luck. He was on his way out when he felt a hand on his arm.

    “Wait, Captain,” T’Challa requested.

    Steve turned around. A wave of nausea hit him.  _ It's been a while… _

    T'Challa studied him carefully. “Is there a problem?”

    Steve lowered his gaze. “I'm a little nauseated,” he admitted. “But, overall, no, I'm fine.” He knew the lie was obvious the instant it left his mouth.

    “Why don't you stay here tonight?” T'Challa suggested. “You shouldn't travel if you're feeling ill.”

    Steve put a hand over his mouth, tasting bile. “I… I need a bathroom,” he said urgently.

    T'Challa helped him to the toilet just as he began to vomit. He sat next to him, no sign of judgement. He vomited until there was nothing left for him to vomit up. T'Challa put his arms around Steve as he pulled him to his feet. Steve barely made it to a bed before he lost consciousness.

 

**Natasha's state**

    The SHIELD agents took Natasha in. They brought her to a helicopter, where Nick Fury awaited her arrival.

    “Like the hair,” he commented. “We have a mission.”

    She cocked an eyebrow. “Oh?”

    “Put the Avengers back together.”

_ Shit. _

_     That's going to be a challenge. _


	4. Open up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's put this back together.  
> I added Vision to the mix for good measure. If anyone has any suggestions as to where the story should go, that'll speed up my writing.  
> Enjoy!

**Pietro's state**

_ They said he's OK, I think. _

_     Someone suggested that they put an… arch reactor on me? Is that what they said? _

_     I think I heard them wrong. _

_     But maybe I can wake up. _

_     I'm lonely… _

_     …...so lonely…. _

 

**Wanda's state**

_ Someone came in today. She talked to me a bit, but I couldn't say anything. I don't know why. She looked worried. _

_     They moved me somewhere else. They took the jacket off. I can kind of move my arms now. I'm on a bed now. It's comfy. I don't see any of the other people. I don't hear them, either.  _

_     Did I just lose it like the yelling man, or are they gone? _

_     I don't know what's worse…. _

 

**Clint's state**

    Clint had received a terrible concussion. There were words of potential memory loss and permanent injury. His already damaged vestibulocochlear nerve had received significant impact, possibly causing him to become completely and irreparably deaf. 

    When Natasha visited him in the hospital, he had yet to wake up. 

    In his injured state, Clint could not hear them shouting his name.

 

**Tony's state**

    Natasha walked into Tony's room. He had hospital service in his own building, so he was plenty comfortable. The area was fairly small, however, so he could see what remained of Pietro with a turn of his head.

    “I'd say suit up, but you seem to be a little occupied,” she commented, smirking.

    “You're blonde,” he murmured, high on morphine. 

    She shrugged. “Just something I'm trying out.” She paused. “Heal up. We're trying to put the Avengers back together.”

    Tony laughed. “Good luck.”

 

**Steve's state**

    T'Challa figured out what Steve had been doing. He knocked on Steve's door.

    “Come in,” Steve groaned.

    T'Challa entered and took a seat on Steve's bed next to his head. “I know what's going on with you,” he murmured.

    Steve closed his eyes, tears welling up. “Please don't tell anyone,” he requested.

    T'Challa put his hand on Steve's forehead. “I've contacted Miss Romanov,” he admitted. “You don't belong here. I wish you did. I enjoy your presence.”

    “I don't want them to see me like this.”

    T'Challa shook his head. “We're not going to move you yet. She just needs to monitor you. I'm sorry.”

    “Treat me,” Steve begged.

    T'Challa nodded. “That's the plan.”

 

**Vision's state**

    Vision sat down next to Pietro, as was his ritual. Since Wanda was no longer present, Vision tried to honor her by looking after her brother. Wanda had been moved from her cell, but she was not ready for visitors.

_ I hope she is well. _

 

**Natasha's state**

_ This is a wreck. _

    Tony and Clint had bad concussions, Wanda was crazy, and, supposedly, Steve was some kind of ill.

    Natasha didn't know how that happened, but it didn't exactly help.

_ It's… a work in progress. _


	5. Don't be afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to post once a day, but my schedule is hell. By mid-November it'll clean up, so after then I can post more often.  
> Enjoy, and please post suggestions on this story's future!

**Pietro's state**

    Pietro felt something change. Tony had managed to modify an ARC reactor from his hospital bed to support Pietro's regularly heightened heartbeat. 

    His mind wanted to wake up.

    The timespan for waking from a coma was normally rather long, but Pietro went through it in about an hour.

    When he jolted awake, he looked around, panicked. He seemed to be in some kind of medical institution. Tony Stark was unconscious on a bed a couple of feet away. There were tubes and wires coming out of Pietro's body.

_ Is this a lab? _

__ He began yanking the needles out, surprised by the weakness of his arms. His metabolism was in overdrive, and he felt burn as his muscles defined themselves. He staggered out of bed and found food nearby. He ate it without a pause. Several doctors rushed into the room. Seeing his fearful, and possibly violent disposition, one of the doctors shot him with a tranquilizer dart. He caught it and threw it back.

    Without a second glance, he fled the room.

 

**Wanda's state**

_ They moved me again. There's a man here. I think I know him. He has dark skin and hair, and he keeps pacing. _

_     Sit down… _

_     Sit down! _

    The man was encompassed in red energy and pushed to the ground. He cried out in surprise. Some people came in and tried to grab Wanda. Filled with rage, she threw them out and ran out of the room. Her weak legs found strength as she surged through the halls. The people that she had thrown had recovered and were chasing her.

_ Leave me alone! _

    She continued to flee from her pursuers, finding strength in fear.

 

**Clint's state**

_ Where am I? _

_     Where is Scott? _

_     Why am I tied down? _

_     What did I do wrong? _

__

_     The woman there… I know her, right? _

_     She looks worried… _

_     I'm OK, lady! Don't worry! _

_     … Am I OK? _

_     … I don't think I'm OK… _

 

**Tony's state**

    Tony woke up. There were several doctors standing around in the room, one on the floor. They looked befuddled. Pietro was gone.

    “Hey, docs, what happened?”

    They looked at him. “The patient awoke, panicked, and fled. We attempted to tranquilize him, but he caught the dart and threw it back,” one of them informed him. His name tag indicated that his name was Caleb Eppins. 

    “Can I walk?”

    Caleb nodded. “You will likely require assistance, but you should be mobile by now.”

    Wincing, Tony eased up from the bed. He walked over to Pietro's hospital bed and looked at it. The sheets were tangled, and various medical equipment was thrown haphazardly about the area. 

    “Geez, Pietro, you broke some  _ expensive _ stuff,” Tony commented. He looked at Caleb. “I hope the ARC reactor’s working.”

    Caleb nodded. “Agreed.”

 

**Steve's state**

_ I can't get up. _

_     Everything hurts. _

__ Steve was alone in a pleasant, if small, guest bedroom in T'Challa's palace. Doctors regularly checked on him, and T'Challa visited as often as possible. 

    T'Challa entered Steve's room. He was dressed casually in a loose, long-sleeved white shirt and yoga pants. He sat down on the edge of Steve's bed.

    “I need… I need some,” Steve begged. “Please… just one…”

    T'Challa shook his head sadly. “I cannot. I will not interfere with your treatment. I understand that you are in a great deal of pain, but your recovery is of utmost importance. I'm sorry.”

    Steve bit back a sob. “I know.”

_ This is the worst pain I have ever felt. _

 

**Vision's state**

_ Wanda fled from the facility. _

    Vision was flying at top speed towards the facility in which Wanda had been recovering. He saw her running from workers, deflecting tranquilizer darts and nets. He dove towards her, scooped her up off of the ground, and flew back into the air.

    An expression of compete terror flooded her face as she turned to look at him. She stared at him as though she was trying to remember who he was. A look of recognition registered on her face. She went limp against him with relief. Vision gently lowered himself to the ground in front of a coffee shop and set her on her feet. 

    Wanda turned to look at him, grabbed him by the back of his neck, and kissed him passionately.

    They remained in that position for several minutes.

 

**Natasha's state**

    Natasha walked through T'Challa's palace. A guide was leading her to Cap's room.

    When she entered, Steve was wide awake, his eyes peeled back in what appeared to be a state of painful awareness. His flushed skin was soaked with sweat and tears were streaming down his cheeks. A plastic bowl on the floor was half-filled with vomit.

    She moved the bowl and sat down on the edge of his bed. She looked at him and placed a hand on his feverish forehead.

    “What happened?” she asked softly.

    He shook his head. “I don't want you seeing me like this,” he replied.

    “Well, I'm seeing you like this anyway, so you might as well just tell me why.”

    Steve shifted to rest his head in Natasha's lap. “I can't. I'm not going to tell you.”

    Natasha sighed. “How can I help?” She threaded her fingers into Steve's hair gently.

    Steve shook under her touch. “Just stay.”


	6. Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one's really short and way late.

    “Your state has improved enough for travel,” Caleb informed Tony.

    “Good,” he replied. “I've been meaning to visit Cap.”

 

****

    Tony was reluctantly allowed to land on the platform of T’Challa's palace. He walked inside, somewhat wary of attack.

    A young woman silently guided Tony to a bedroom.

    Tony entered the room to find Steve asleep with Natasha cradling his head in her lap. Steve was shirtless and soaked with sweat.

    “He won't tell me what's wrong,” Natasha whispered.

    As soon as she spoke, Steve opened his eyes groggily. “What?” he murmured.

    Natasha lowered Steve's head to the pillow and stood up. “I'll leave you two alone.”

    She brushed past Tony as she left, who sat down on the edge of his bed.

    “Hey, Cap,” he greeted. “You don't look so good.”

    “I'm fine,” he muttered, though the vomit bowl on the floor suggested otherwise. His hands were shaking as he rested them on top of Tony's.

    Tony took his hands and turned his arm to look at his palm. As his eyes traveled up Steve's arm, he saw… track markings?

    “No…” Tony whispered in disbelief.

    Steve burst into tears. 

    Tony dropped Steve's hands and wiped away his tears. “Shhh…” he murmured. “You're going to be OK.”

    “I want to die.”

    “I don't want you to die.”

    Steve looked Tony in the eyes. “Tony, I love you.”

    “Love you too, Cap.” Tony leaned forward and gently kissed Steve on the lips. He lied down next to Steve and wrapped his arms around him. “I'm here for you. You'll be OK.”

    Steve nuzzled his face into Tony's neck. “Mm-kay.”

    Tony stroked Steve's hair until they both fell asleep.


	7. Less lost, I hope

**Pietro's state**

    Pietro had run for hours, through mountains and forests and expanses of grass. When he paused to catch his breath, his stomach growled and he began to feel faint.

_     Shit. _

_     I need food. _

    Concerned for his own health, he dashed into a store, stole some food, and began to devour it in a nearby park. 

    Despite the earlier muscle growth, he was still skinny, much skinnier than he had been since he was 16 and on the streets. 

    Filled with exhaustion, he collapsed against a tree, unconscious.

 

**Wanda's state**

    At some point, Wanda had fallen asleep in Vision's arms. She awoke on her bed in the Avengers facility. Vision sat on the edge of the bed, watching her sleep.

    Her friends from the cell were sitting on the floor. “Hey,” she greeted sleepily. She naturally assumed that Vision was just another hallucination of hers. When Vision attempted to place his hand on her forehead, she scooted away. “If you touch me, you'll disappear.”

    Vision raised his eyebrows.

    “My friends only stay if they don't touch me.” She gestured to Eric, one of her friends, with her head. “He tried to give me a hug, but then he went away. He didn't come back for a couple days.”

    “Wanda, there is nobody there.”

    She looked surprised. “You can't see them?” She turned to her friends. “You can show yourself. He's a good guy.”

    Eric shook his head. “Only you can see us. You're special that way.”

    Wanda smiled at the compliment. “Eric said that you couldn't see him because you're not special like that.”

    Vision frowned. “Once you're feeling a bit better, I would like to introduce you to someone. Would you be open to that?”

    “I can go somewhere else?”

    Vision nodded. “You have full range of this building. If you don't mind, I would like to accompany you about.”

    Wanda shrugged. “The rest of my friends can come too, right?”

    Vision internally grimaced. As reluctant as he was to enable her fantasies, he knew that he was not qualified to guide her out of them. “Whatever makes you most comfortable.”

    Wanda smiled. “Thanks, Viz.”

    “No problem,” he lied.

 

**Clint's state**

    The yellow-haired woman was in his room. She looked somewhat upset. 

   “Hello?” he greeted.

   “You're awake!” she exclaimed, though it sounded like she was screaming into his ear. He clutched at his ears. 

    “Where's the ant?” he asked. 

    “Antman?”

    He nodded. “Where's Scott?”

    “He's moved back home. He's looking after his daughter right now.”

    Clint's eyes brightened. “When can I see my chicks?”

    “Your… chicks?”

    “Yes!” he shouted. “My hawklets.”

    She sat down next to him. “Um, you can see your kids after you've healed a bit.”

    “OK,” he conceded.

    After about a minute of uncomfortable silence, she cleared her throat. “Do you recognize this person?” She held up an image of the blue person with the shiny frisbee.

    He nodded. “That's Hat.”

    She furrowed her brow. “Do you mean Cap?”

    “They're synonyms.”

    She exhaled. “OK, cool.” She held up a picture of the red armored robot.

    “He's hard. Iron, actually.”

   She smirked. “Yes, he does get hard pretty often.” She paused. “Him?” She held up an image of a man with big metal wings. 

    Clint's eyes widened and he gave a big smile. “He's a bird, too!” He looked at her excitedly. “Can I name him?”

    She shrugged. 

    “I'm gonna name him Francis.” He grinned at her.

    She bit her lip. “Great.”

    “Who else is there?” he asked excitedly. 

    She held up an image of a large green man. 

    “Ooh, I know that one! That's the Hulk!”

    She nodded, looking pleased with him. She held up an image of a young brunette in a red dress. 

    “She's pretty,” he commented. 

    The woman nodded. “Yes, she's very pretty. Do you know what her name is?”

    “She's, um, Scarlet.”

    The woman smiled a little. “She's the Scarlet Witch, specifically.” She held up an image of a blond guy with a big hammer.

    “Hey, that's Or!”

    She shrugged. “Close enough.” She held up a picture of a guy with brown hair and a bow and arrow. “Do you know who this is?” She looked uncomfortable as she asked the question. 

    “Oh, that's the guy in the glass! He always smiled at me when I smiled at him. I never learned his name, though.”  _ I did ask him, though.  _

    The woman tensed slightly. “Clint, that's  _ you _ . The guy in the glass was a reflection.”

    He furrowed his brow. “Oh, OK.”  _ She's lying! That was totally another guy! He just… looked like me.  _

__ “Do you know who I am?” she asked. 

    He nodded. “Yeah, you used to have orange hair but it turned yellow. Did you know that your hair turned yellow?”

    “Yes, Clint, I bleached it.” She sounded exasperated.

    “Oh, cool. But you're Natasha. Others call you Spider, or something like that, but you're Natasha.”

    She nodded. “Clint,” she whispered, her voice quavering, “you're going to be OK. We're going to help you. I promise.”

    He smiled at her and lied down with his head in her lap. He saw a tear running down her cheek before he fell asleep. 

    “Good night,” she whispered to his sleeping form.


End file.
